Taming a Horse, and a Pirate

lvira wandered through the Village looking for friends. Nobody seemed to be about when she found a stray horse. She does not have very good luck with animals, but she decides to try to tame the stray...
"Nice Horse. Will you be my friend?"
To her surprise, the horse nudges up to her and lets her mount its back. Seeing that the poor animal is starving she quickly purchases some apples from the bartender at the inn. The horse seemed much happier, so she named it 'Happy'. Deciding to give the steed some exercise, she rides wildly through the Village and Red Skull Bay area. She noticed a lone Pirate at the Jolly Roger inn, but decided to leave him alone and keep searching the Village for someone friendly. After a while she reappeared at the Village Inn and there was that Pirate sneaking about.

"Who art thee, and what is thy purpose here?" she asked. "Har, none 'o yer business" the man replied. "Art thee a Pirate or robber?" she queried. "Look at me, I ain't no lan'lubber!" he said. "What is a landlubber?" "Har, just look in a mirror! Say, I don't remember ye. Who air ye?" the man said.
"I am Elvira of the Village. I've been around a few months. And who are thee? Some lone ruffian robber?" she queried. "Har, I be da best most famous Pirate in da lands... Hawkeye Pike!" he boasted. "Hmmm, famous eh? I've heard of Hook, but not thee." Of course Elvira had heard of Hawkeye, but she was having fun watching him fume.

"Arrr, I be da best fighter in da lands! Everyone fears me!" Hawkeye was boasting.
"I don't fear any of the Pirates. My brother is Yellowbeard and just this morning I had a nice chat with Igor."
"Arrr, me tinks dey be gittin soft. Gotta beat some sense inta dem later. Huh? A sista of me matey ye says?" Pike looked stunned for a second, then regained his composure. "Har, yer Red hair looks just like his Yeller Beard."
She could tell he was being sarcastic now so she clarified things for him. "Laugh if you like, he is my half brother, and I know he used to have red hair too."
"Arrr, enough o' dis wench." Hawkeye was getting irritated like most Pirates do when they have to think too hard about family matters. Elvira sensed this and tried to calm him down.
"Can I offer thee an ale perhaps if you would then leave?"
"Har, ales always be good." he said. She handed him one of the ales she always carries with her just in case some pirates do appear. She has learned simply giving them an ale or two calms them right down.

"*hic* Arr, yer not a bad lookin' wench, come 'ere an dance fer me." She could not help it, but she was somehow feeling playful with this ruffian.
"Ha, I would never dance for thee. Besides, thy stench doth precede thee. You should take a Bath!"
"Arrr. A Bath! Bah! Hic!" Hawkeye grabs her by the arm and draws her close. She quickly slaps his face and he releases her. "Ouch! Arr, Wench I'll make ye pay fer dat." he screamed.

Not quite sure where this might lead, she turns and quickly sends an SOS pigeon to Masta, the only friendly pigeon around at the moment. He responds he will be there to help as soon as he finds a rune to the Village.

Planning to stall him, she decides to play coy. "Now wait a minute. If thee will take a bath, then I will consider entertaining thee."
"Har. A Bath eh? Well, ok den." Hawkeye was grumbling as they both walked to the shore near the Village Inn.

"Ok now, I'll turn around an you jump in and clean up." she says.
He takes all his clothes off down to his longjohn underwear. He splashes a little water with his foot. "Dere, me all clean now."
She turns and peeks. "Nay, thee are not wet at all. Here is some soap, now jump in and clean up if thee wants me." She was getting playful again.
Hawkeye made a big fuss but he actually jumped in and took a bath. Laughing, she noticed the Pirate's clothes lying on the shore. Thoughts of picking them up and running briefly flashed through her mind, but instead she kept sneaking peeks. She picked up Hawkeye's hat and tried it on. As he climbed out of the water and put his clothes back on, he noticed her wearing his hat. "Arrr, Dat's me hat!"
She smiled "It goes well with my new new armor, no?" she said impishly.
"Har, me be clean now so let's go to da inn." He seemed a bit annoyed she had his hat, but didn't want to miss his opportunity.

They made their way back to the Inn. To stall some more, Elvira suggested he should buy her a drink. Hawkeye bought some wine and cider and poured her several cups.
"Hic! Oh my, I'm feeling a bit dizzy" she giggled.
"Har, here lass, drink yer fill." He kept her goblet full of wine and started gently caressing her hair. Then suddenly Masta walked in.

"Hail, what seems to be going on here?" Masta asked.
"Arrr, none o' yer business lan'lubber scum. Now off wit ye!"
Hawkeye then grabbed Elvira by the arm and dragged her up the stairs to the top floor of the inn.
Masta followed up stairs. "Leave her alone!" he shouted.
Hawkeye dropped Elvira on one of the stools and armed himself. "Ye bett'r leave now, before I kick yer corpse down da stairs!"
Elvira was very tipsy now, an was observing through unfocused eyes. "Hic! Oooh, two men fighting over lil' ol me?"
Masta paralyzed Hawkeye in his tracks and began a volley of Fireballs, lightning and energy bolts. Hawkeye was wounded badly but tossed exploding potions wherever Masta went. In the end, Masta came too close to the Pirate's blade and a greater poison overcame the brave mage, as he dropped to the ground.
"Poor Masta." Elvira exclaimed. "Har, he deserv'd ta die. I tol' ye I be da fiercest Pirate in da lands." Hawkeye exclaimed.

"Thee did fight for me, and won." She was somehow strangely attracted now to this ruffian Pirate. She could not explain it. It was the first time someone fought 'for' her.
"Come now lass. Tis time to keep yer part of da bargain." He led her into the back room of the Inn.
After some time Hawkeye left while Elvira gathered up the belongings of her friend Masta.
"Har, wut a wench! Yo Ho Ho...." Hawkeye sang a Pirate song as he left the inn.
Elvira sat at a table in the inn reflecting on her recent experiences. Should she see this Pirate again? Does she feel affection towards him, or was she just drunken? Her mind wandered back to the events of the day as she danced down the stairs to lie down for the evening. She went to sleep giggling and thinking "At least I got him to take a bath."

10/99

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