Short Encounter With the Shadowclan

y hand was trembling slightly, as I knocked on the heavy wooden door of the Orc Fort south of Yew. What had brought me here? Once again, I had felt the urge to experience Britannia's secrets. There was talk about town concerning evil Orcs living in the Yew forest, who'd ambush and kill innocent travelers on sight, looting their corpses and terrorizing the nearby town. It had made me curious and I wanted to find out more. The last rumors about the Dark Elves in the Yew Crypts being mindless murderers had been fiction, and maybe there was only a small chance I soon would become Orc food.
Then an ugly Orc approached, opened the door and ordered me to go away.

After telling him that I was a pilgrim trying to find out the truth about the Orcs, he came outside. He stood in front of me, looking at me through the eye slits of his orc helm and made strange noises. In his hardly comprehensible dialect he asked me what I wanted. He was one of the Shadowclan Orcs! The following conversation was interesting and yet amusing.

Mad Biker: Hail to thee!
Uruk'Hai: what humie want
Mad Biker: May I asked thou a question?
Uruk'Hai: grrr
Mad Biker: Sorry if I disturb thee
Uruk'Hai: nub come in fort
Uruk'Hai: we talk outside
Uruk'Hai: humie come
Uruk'Hai: dat bedder
Mad Biker: I am a pilgrim
Uruk'Hai: *picks his nose*
Uruk'Hai: so what humie pilgrim fer
Mad Biker: I have visited the Drows
Uruk'Hai: ah
Mad Biker: People told me that they'd be murderers and mean
Uruk'Hai: me nub like albais
Mad Biker: But they weren't
Uruk'Hai: but orcs are
Mad Biker: They just don't wanted to be disturbed in their home
Uruk'Hai: yub dat like orcs
Mad Biker: My goal is to find out more about the Orcs and tell people the TRUTH about them
Mad Biker: There art too many prejudices in this world
Uruk'Hai: den lat must do dat
Uruk'Hai: *farts*
You see Nimweid attacking Uruk'Hai!
Uruk'Hai was hiding himself.
Nimweid: dont fart!
Uruk'Hai: stoopid humie
Uruk'Hai: *farts*
Uruk'Hai: *pulls dead rat out of backpack and bites head off*
Uruk'Hai: *Buuuuurp*
Uruk'Hai: dat gud meat
Mad Biker: Why do people attack you?
Uruk'Hai: grrr
Uruk'Hai: me nub know
Uruk'Hai: dey think orcs easy clomped
Uruk'Hai: grrrr me mad
Mad Biker: I see you art in trouble?
Uruk'Hai: dat humie still in fort
Mad Biker: I am sorry for this.
Mad Biker: I think noone should attack in an offensive way!
Uruk'Hai: me go git oder orcs

Then several things happened. About three warriors appeared and wordlessly attacked every orc they saw with their heavy crossbows and other weapons. I tried to keep them from continuing the slaughter, but they ignored me. I stood there, in midst a raging battle, without a possibility of defending myself. Soon all was over. Nobody had bothered me, and there had been losses on both sides. I decided to leave as fast as possible, not pushing my good luck too far.

03/98

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